As my heart feels as it will jump out of my chest and my body trembles and sweats I dial the number to my surgeons office. Taking a deep breath as the voice-mail message comes on I say, "this is Amanda LaDue calling to cancel my shoulder surgery for the 14th" I almost can't believe I did it, I almost can't believe what all is going on!
The other day on a 6 hour car ride I got a new understanding to a verse I have said over and over for several years now. The way I chopped it up was "if you have faith as small as a mustard seed you can move this mountain into the sea" Jesus said it and I believe it! But......my mountains on the health front were definitely not moving! So, on this glorious revolutionary ride I got a healing in my thoughts and in my body, praise God!
Matthew 17:20 (KJV) – And Jesus said unto them, "Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of a mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you."
I had been asking myself, "what is wrong with my faith, I know I believe but something is missing?!" So my new question became, "do I have DOUBT as small as a mustard seed?" And the answer unfortunately was, yes I have doubt! My doubt laid in not totally believing that nothing shall be impossible for me! If I remove the doubt, then the mountain moves. My doubt was going to the doctors, taking medications, and scheduling shoulder surgery to repair a torn rotator cuff, bone spurs, and repair a couple of places in my bicep.
Why didn't I depend on God for my healing in the first place? Well I think I believed what others have said like, "It may not be in God's will or it will come in His timing" "God created the doctors" "Trust God and the Science" "Paul had a thorn in his flesh and God told him His grace was sufficient" & "you may be meant to shine Jesus to the medial staff."
Oh how all the things we say sound so good, which make excuses for why we don't walk like Jesus and in the power of the Holy Spirit! Well I realized I was showing doubt in my actions. So, I just canceled my surgery and physical therapy! My stomach kind of turned when I said that! The thought popped in, what if I'm not healed? That is doubt as small as a mustard seed! The last thing I want to do is go backwards and into all of that physical pain!
Jesus said, "because of unbelief" So I had to stop any unbelief actions! If I believe anything is possible through Christ, then why would I go to a doctor? Christ didn't use a doctor He spoke to the problem! When I made the decision to cancel the surgery 4 days ago my shoulder and arm instantly healed!!!! Yes I am so very serious!
Now I will admit that off and on the doubt creped in and phantom pains showed up. But I KNOW there is a huge difference in the pain level. Before I couldn't raise my arm above shoulder height. Every one of the last 4 days I have done movements I haven't been able to do in several years! When I moved my right arm before it literally felt like someone was cutting me from my shoulder down to my elbow! Now I can raise my arm above my head and the pain doesn't scream at me anymore. Praise God I am healed!!!! Thank you Father for helping me remove the doubt 🙏🙌
1 Peter 2:24 says by His stripes we WERE HEALED. So what was blocking the results and reality of my healing? Me, and my doubt! What a huge gut punch! Man it really sucks knowing that I am the one that was keeping myself in pain! It is not the greatest feeling knowing it's your own fault.
Steps to removing doubt:
1. Make the decision to be healed and to give up everything that goes along with that illness. Praying for God to purify my mind, soul and spirit. Praying for God to help remove any doubt, for me to be able to surrender my fleshly desires, and to make my will His will.
2. Talk as though my healing is already done even if my reality doesn't look like my desired end result. Praying for God to help me to speak His words over myself and to my situations.
3. Continually praying and seeking the kingdom of heaven before all earthly things and people. Always praising, worshiping, and shining the light of Jesus.
4. Commanding my body to get in line and for the enemy to flee from me by speaking the word (using my sword) and taking the dominion Jesus took back and gave to me through His Holy Spirit.
5. Spreading the Good News while testifying about how God has helped me and my loved ones. Speaking about future successes as though they are already in my earthly reality.
6. Even when phantom pains show up and scream at me, I call it out for what it truly is....a LIE! I no longer accept the lie, I say not today dirty devil you have no authority over me I am a mighty child of God. The Holy Spirit dwells in me and He holds all knowledge and all power to conquer all things.
